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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in see you in sea world's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
6:15 pm
One time I was given free reign of a bagel store I worked in. I was in charge of everything. Everyone was gone for the day.

I made a hero out of bagel dough. Whole wheat dough, everything bagel toppings. I made the bread into garlic bread, with REAL garlic and REAL onions that I sauteed up in fresh butter.

The day before, my boss was having a family party so he ordered REAL Italian gourmet meats from Italy, to do it right. He made all the platters ahead of time, but still had leftover meats that he said we could use for our own delight. Real prosciutto, real salami, real provolone cheese that was unprocessed and unpasteurized. Capicola ham, spiced ham. I made a spiced mayonnaise myself, in the store. Roma tomatoes. Romaine lettuce that I delved through to find the perfect pieces. Red onion.

I stacked the meat so that it would be fluffy, folding each piece and making sure that it was in line with the bread-horizon. I used a perfectly sharpened bread knife to cut it on a slight diagonal across the hero-bagel-bread.

I roasted some red peppers that we had over our grill, and used the true, raw olive oil that he had used for the party for antipasto trays. I used a few olives to make a small tapenade that went into the center of the bread, injected via turkey baster. After I cut it, I wrapped it up and put it into our walk-in refrigerator to marinate for about half an hour.

I made a sandwich whose street value was easily over 150 dollars. I made two of these sandwiches. I gave one to my friend Kenny for his birthday.

The other one I ate over the course of a day. I ate nothing else that day.

I wept. Guys, I don't want this to sound like some bullshit story, but I fucking cried. I fucking cried over this sandwich, and I think about it every few weeks. This was almost four or five years ago.
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
2:09 pm
So I've been married to my wife for a while now. Its been 6 years since our marriage and I had been dating her for 4 years prior to that. So its been quite a while. My life hasnt been that bad. I mean I have a good job working at Safeway bagging groceries, and my wife is a psychologist so she's the real breadwinner in the family.

We may not be rich but we usually don't want for much. I never thought myself the type to have an addictive personality but ever since we saw Avatar in theaters I have been having problems.

The past 7 nights in a row my wife has asked me to have sex with her, and I just havent been in the mood. Scratch that. I'm incredibly horny most of the time, but I dont feel attracted to her anymore. The sight of her naked literally does nothing for me, and I'm frightened by that. Instead I imagine Neytiri. Her majestic grace and boundless beauty as well as the alien mystery about her. I want to fly off to pandora and live with her, to be with her always. I would worship her as she deserves. I'd do anything to just to touch her, to smell her.

She's the perfect woman, and i feel like this life here has lost its spark. Where is the magic in humanity. Just a few days ago, my son asked me some question about what happened in Avatar. I dont even remember what it was, but after I told him, I started crying. Right in front of him. All I can think about is how depressing it is that I will never reach pandora. I almost vomited while I cried. It was the most pathetic thing I have ever done. Im in my 30's for god's sake. I have to remain strong for my son. Right?

I want to tell my wife but she's a psychologist. She'll think I'm sick. I know it. I probably am sick. But what can I do. Its a little early to tink about divorce, but the thought of her disgusts me. The thought of me disgusts me. How could I compare to the beauty and grace of a Na'vi. I want to leave, to just leave and sort things out, but I dont want to leave my wife and son alone. I dont know what to do with myself, with my life. I dont want to see another psychologist and get treated like a specimen. I just want to be a Na'vi. I've never wanted anything more in my life.

At this point I would rip my son to shreds for an hour on pandora. I would too. And that thought frightens me. Can anyone somehow offer me assistance. Christ what am I going to do with myself?
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
11:53 pm
Most women have eaten cum, they just don't know it. Guys naturally cum on girls food, toothbrushes, anything that will definitely end up in some chicks mouth. I've cummed on many toothbrushes, once my sexy cousin wondered aloud why her toothbrush tasted so strange, it was my cum naturally. So whether you like it or not, ladies you are going to eat cum at some point in your life, it's inevitable. It's also very unlikely you'll ever catch any guy cumming on your food, toothbrush or whatever it is you stick in your mouth. Deal with it!!
Monday, October 12th, 2009
5:20 pm
anyone else on last.fm?

add me.

Monday, September 14th, 2009
4:39 pm
Saturday, August 1st, 2009
2:56 pm
Thursday, July 30th, 2009
7:42 pm
My XBLA Uno Adventure: Children beware
So last night I was hanging out and drinking with a few buddies when I decided to bring the gathering inside to relax in some air conditioning. The night was winding down so I boot up the old Xbox to stream some South Park episodes through Netflix. Before I found the Netflix tab I noticed a green ring glowing under my television. It was my trusty Xbox camera that I thought would have a decent future when I purchased it. After noticing it I decided to load Uno real fast hoping that it would be more entertaining than sitting around watching cartoons. It was.

I bring up the list of rooms to join and click on the first name I see. It was something like XxxKazenonexxX or whatever. The first thing that comes to mind when you see a name with X's and shit is that the dude is some kind of nerdy hardcore gamer... Right? Entering the room I expected to see a smaller guy with glasses, not this giant cock on my screen. It was just chilling there. Flaccid and everything. The guy actually seemed relaxed just chilling there with his dick hanging out. I think he was on the phone with someone too. I look to the right of the screen and this other dude is beating off. Before I could say anything I was booted from the room.

After getting an eye full of dick I was hoping to at least see some titties, so the next room I joined was hosted by WhoreXChick or something similar. As soon as I connect I see tits (cool) followed by more dudes jacking off. They were telling her what to do (like a live cam show you'd see on a porn site) while they were beating off. They booted me after about 30 seconds. Probably because my camera didn't have a dick on it.

The next room I joined had this dude laying on his bed in short red shorts, a younger girl, and a creepy dude with a mustache and hair passed his shoulders. Seemed pretty normal until the dude lying on the bed start jacking off. Rather than exposing his penis he just put his hands down his pants and went to town. The strange thing is that the other two people in the room seemed to ignore the fact that some dude was lying down and beating off. Since nobody was doing anything about it and I wasn't getting kicked from this room I decided to plug in the mic. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I do remember that we carried on a rather normal conversation. He mentioned that he was masturbating over the chick that was in the room even though she wasn't paying attention to anyone in it. It was kind of like a David Lynch film.

The final room I joined was completely normal. Everyone was having a good time playing Uno. Then after about 2 minutes this dude asked me if I was going to pull my dick out. After saying no I was booted from the room.

You would think that Uno would be monitored more closely.

tl;dr: Play Uno on Friday after 1am EST if you want to see people masturbate on camera.

I did join other rooms with people stripping but I was booted instantly. I'm also pretty sure that if I had my penis out I wouldn't have been booted from most of the rooms and people would be amazed by it's size.
Monday, February 23rd, 2009
6:48 pm
Saturday, January 31st, 2009
9:20 pm
anybody have an xbox 360. gimme yo gamertag
i just got live gold again. going on to play castle crashers right now.
Sunday, April 6th, 2008
6:58 pm
I was a very, very troubled 6th grader
I was raised a Christian, but suffice it to say that by the time I reached 6th grade I was not only on very bad terms with God, but also on bad terms with humanity. Over the course of a month, as I struggled, I drew a 94 page graphic novel called "Bio-Apocalypse" in one of those Mead notebooks. I did this during recess or whenever I had free time, and even in class when the teacher was not looking. It's a good thing I was never caught, because I might very well have been expelled considering the content.

It was not discovered by others then, but not too long ago I discovered the old Mead notebook where I had created the aforementioned amateur graphic novel (stashed away in a pile of other creative shit I had tossed under the rug years ago). I thought it would be a sin if I didn't share it with the rest of the world, especially the people of these here who would be far more inclined to appreciate it.

I present to you: "Bio Apocalypse" (by THE HORSES rear end, 6th grade) :


I hope you enjoyed it. There's plenty more where that came from (as I said, I was a troubled 6th grader with plenty of free time), but it takes hours to scan and upload all this shit so that's it for today.
Thursday, February 21st, 2008
2:55 pm
nybody on xbox live?
add me plz. we can show each other our genitals while playing uno.

<a href="http://profile.mygamercard.net/Tundra+Orchid">
<img src="http://card.mygamercard.net/crest/Tundra+Orchid.png" border=0>
Thursday, April 19th, 2007
8:06 pm
whats your wii friend code?
lets  exchange mii noodz

6496 5504 9989 7104
Sunday, October 8th, 2006
3:01 am
since im bored: my little nazi doll collection

my hobby is collecting nazi dolls.
they are actually called 'action figures.'
right now, i have around 65 of them, plus three big vehicles, two motorcycles and a pair of bicycles.

this is the SS Scharfuhrer (that's the equivalent rank of staff sergeant).
i bought those little playing cards seperate.
i purchase a lot of little items for these guys -- cigarettes, plastic food, little chairs and tables, etc.

Monday, October 2nd, 2006
11:35 am
get your nails done and your hair did
official lj nail salon bulletin


(im too poor for the poll function. i spent that money on nails

your favorite sodas
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

sesame street is brought to you by your nails
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

eat my shorts!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

something about a pineapple under the sea
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Monday, September 11th, 2006
6:31 am
recommend me books.
taking a trip so id like some low tech ways to keep me busy. just in case. i stopped reading magazines awhile back

heres what i have so far.
1. the bride of catastrophe - heidi jon schmidt. i just never finished it. its big and fiction

2.Laugh If You Like, Ain't a Damn Thing Funny: The Life Story of Ralph ''Petey'' Greene - Lurma Rackley. non fiction bio

3. My Voice Will Go With You: The Teaching Tales of Milton H. Erickson, M.D - Sidney Rosen. anecdotal case studies of a therapist

4. Milton H. Erickson, M.D.: An American Healer by Bradford Keeney. bio about the life of the same guy.

5. Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas - Chuck Klosterman. non fiction essays

the last book i read i really liked was the secret life of the lonely doll: the search for dare wright, by jean nathan

so hopefully you can make a recommendation with a short writeup of a potentially life changing (or why would i read it really) book
Friday, September 1st, 2006
11:39 am
100's of used dvd's for sale

sinice some people before expressed what dvds i have for sale, im giving it a couple days here before i sell them off elsewhere

1. ill consider all offers until sunday afternoon, after which they start being sold else. until sunday, if theres a bidding war, whoever offers the most for said dvd would win

2. more than half are in the $5-6 dollar range, but some are more. i would just assume they are though.  what i would do is just reply back with a list of whatever youre interested in an ill reply back with the same list with adjusted quotes, and we can go from there. sorry if that seems inefficient, but i tabulated what id stand to make on each dvd, and it never occurred to me to try going straight to the consumer first. hopefully, wed trying to find a price thats inbetween what more than i'd sell to a third party for, and less than what youd pay a third party for :D

3. if you live inside the loop of METRO HOUSTON, TX area , ill consider meeting up, other cities, ill ship at the lowest prices i can find. naturally the more you buy the cheaper the shipping would get

4. most of everything is in mint to near mint condition, with most wear and tear if it came with with a paper slipcase. ill mention anyting otherwise though. if you have any questions about particular editions or number of discs if there happen to be more than one, just ask. also everything is Region 1 Official Discs. most everything is widescreen if it was ever offered in widescreen, if its not ill mention

5. would be willing to trade (or even dvd rips, which id actually prefer) for Barfly, The Fly -  Collector's Edition, Rebecca - Criterion Edition, The Girl on the Bridge, Billy Liar - Criterion Edition, Salesman - Criterion Edition, Any James Brown dvd concerts that are good.


Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
11:47 pm
i uploaded these to link to a friend but i may as well link them here too:

patrick wolf is a musician as well, and i like his stuff, this remix is very in line with his solo stuff. i also think its a rare case of a remix being better than the original song. pure ear candy
Annie - Helpless Fool for Love (Patrick Wolf mix) 

from the unrealeased Basement Jaxx album, Crazy Itch Radio, the lead single and by far one of the best songs ive heard in months
Basement Jaxx - Hush Boy

this is supposed to be a skit/segue between songs, but i like how the melody she sings steals from Roberta Flack's The Closer I Get to You
Basement Jaxx - Zoomalude

Basement Jaxx - Keep Keep On

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
4:24 am
my little sister had a slumber party last weekend
visting home can still have it's advantages!

First, let me tell you a little something about my sister. She is a lovely girl, 16, bright and beautiful. And do you know how much she adores me? She does. I suspect all younger siblings at some time blindly admire their older counter parts no matter who they are, even if, in fact, they cause them harm in some way or the other, it is all justified to them, somehow. This was the case with my older brother, whom I have grown to hate, quite rightly, because he is stupid, rude, and sometimes the butt of jokes to those people he calls "friends." Back to my sister; she is one of great potential, and I recognized my duty as her older brother to help mold her. I won't make the same mistake my brother did with me! I try to inspire her, enlighten her, open her mind so that she may reach her highest potential, whatever it is that a woman could hope to be. It started with my reading suggestions. I was put in the position of someone who could recommend books for her to read, and in return she would respect my opinion of certain subjects, by my ability to comprehend and elaborate on her english assignments. I got her to read Camus's "The Stranger" one time. The conversation afterwards went like this:

"I don't get the ending," she said.
"What don't you get about it?"
"Is he happy or what? I think he's happy, but I don't see why."
"He isn't really happy, after all, he is condemned. He has just understood his place in the universe and the universes' relation to him, chiefly, indifference. All he has to do is be indifferent to it and the world, just as he is to society's laws and morals, and then finally, apply that to death. He has some sort of peace, but I think he would somehow rather live, if only out of habit."
She paused for a moment, reflecting, or trying to reflect, so as to impress her older brother.
"I think I got it," she finally let out.
"Come to me with any other questions," I said.

So you see what kind of a mentor I am to her. She comes to my room everday after school and talks with me. She loves every minute of it. But it is also double sided, because if anyone has spent enough time with a girl you know how boring their stories become. It seems to be in their nature to bother you with every trivial and meaningless detail in their lives, somehow, I think, it makes them seem closer to you, to know all their bullshit. Keep that in mind, young men of the world!

Having sufficiently boosted her self esteem and whatnot, she eventually made friends in highschool. She was quiet and shy like I was in my youth, and so that always troubled me about her, and so I was quite pleased that she had made friends. I came to learn that one of her friends, Casey, had a crush on me. I don't know how that happened, since I have never met the girl, or if so merely in passing. Apparantly this bothered my sister a lot, and Casey, being aware of this, wrote on my sisters notebook that I was cute, hot, etc. My sister showed me the notebook. I also think there is something appealing about older men to little girls, older brothers, just as older siblings are somehow more powerful and knowledgeable, older boys are omnipotent and exciting. They know how to have fun, they know about life, after all, at least from the little girls' perspective. I knew this when I was sitting at my computer chair and heard the doorbell ring last Friday night. It was Casey! The night had begun!

I was imagining them, from behind my door, greeting each other, their bright teenage smiles and barely controllable excitement. They would hold each others hands as if to try to contain each other as they looked into each others eyes and burst into laughter and giggles. Such movement and electricity surrounded them at every moment. There were many instances when, after the other 2 girls arrived, making that 4 in all, that it seems like a grenade exploded in the other room, except instead of hearing destruction you heard shrieking yells and fits of laughter from all around you, which would be equally as disturbing and unsettling as a grenade.

At one point in the night I heard my sisters door open. She is right across the hall. I ran quickly to my door and pressed my ear to it. I heard whispers. From what I gathered, one girl, Casey, was showing another, Lauren, where the bathroom was, but they also were discussing which room I was in, and daring each other to go in and see me. This filled me with a powerful excitement. Eventually, though, they were too timid, or picked the wrong room, and eventually returned to my sisters room.

All that evening an idea was spreading inside me. At first it started as a seed, a joke and passing thought that I even laughed at. But it grew. It sprung roots and branches and as each minute passed become more and more a possibility, and strangely it seems, an inevitability. I was heading towards it and it was pulling me in whether I had a say in it or not! It was only two doors, gentlemen, two doors that seperated me from those lovely girls. My imagination was running wild with ideas of what they could be doing, what they looked like, and indeed what they were thinking! I could not take it any more. But I had to have an excuse, a reason, a justification, or otherwise everything would fall to pieces!

"And who cares what other people think, so what if they are sixteen?" I thought to myself. "Am I not like The Stranger myself? Aren't we free to invent our own rules? What does it all matter? Where do these laws come from? Are they holy? There is no holiness! That is a lie, and only for children to believe. Children need morals. I can step over them, all those who judge, in one giant leap I can crush what they think! Heh, heh!"

"Hello, sister!" I said as I pushed the door open with one hand, carrying a bottle of Jack Daniels in the other.
"What are you doing here?" she said, startled, and pulled a blanket over her legs and closer to her face.
"Oh, I'm just saying hello. Can I come in? Well, hello everyone! Let me close the door. Ok there. Well, how are you?" I introduced myself and everyone introduced themselves to me. I have to admit, at first they were startled, but I spoke in a tone of sincerity and frankness that was disarming and at times even enchanting, otherwise, if I detected, even in the slightest, a shred of sentiment that I was not accepted among them, I would have left immediately! That I promise you. That is the truth.

There was Casey, as I mentioned, but now I was free to look at and admire her features. She was a blonde girl of sixteen. She would be the first to turn seventeen among the group. She wore a beaded necklace, had a crooked smile, and was pale and skinny. Lauren was brunette and had a curved, though small, nose. She was just as pale as Casey, but looked fuller, and her brown eyes were rich and deep. And lastly there was Becca. Becca's brown hair was long and fell to the middle of her back. She kept the front bangs short above her eyebrows and let the rest grow back behind her. She had a slight complexion problem but it could easily be ignored because she covered it with makeup. I don't know how you all feel about women's faces, but to my mind those sixteen years, those still childish eyes, that timidity, those bashful tears- to my mind they're better than beauty, and on top of that they were just like a picture. Little eyes, little hands and arms, little feet- lovely! ... So we got acquainted. I hid my bottle from view and also from thought for the time being until I gained their absolute and complete trust.

"So Casey, that's with a C right?" I asked.
"Cool! I once knew a Kacie with a K and IE."
"Cool! Me too! Whenever I meet another Casey I have to ask how their name is spelled!"
"That's so funny!"

And thus, and thus. Finally I introduced the bottle.

"So, have you girls ever drank before?"
"Nope," Casey said. The others replied the same.
"One time," my sister said, bashfully, but with a hint of pride.
"Oh wow, really!" Becca said.
"When was it??" Lauren said.
"It was during Mardi Gras. He let me," my sister said, pointing to me.
"Haha, I remember that, that was funny. So do you girls want to try some? It's really fun," I said.
"Sounds cool!" Casey said.

Luckily they already had coke in the room to mix it with. First I gave them weak drinks, and hoped no one would get an upset stomach. But would you have guessed how quickly they drank! They were so excited about the prospect of being cool and drinking, and hanging out with an older boy. I'm 22, by the way. In just an hour all the bottle was gone. I barely had 2 drinks. I sipped quietly and slowly so they would get more than their share of it. Finally my moment was coming into play, as if it were appearing before me and suddenly tangible. I could feel it's weight bearing down on me, more and more, every minute, until it almost broke me.

"Has anyone done a three-way kiss before?" I asked. No one answered. They looked at me and then each other, and then back at me. "It's simple, it's just like regular kissing except with three people. Who wants to try?" Everyone volunteered. I told my sister no... next turn. I got Casey, Lauren, and Becca standing on their knees and told them to go at it. They were giggling but determined. Finally the laughter stopped and then all I could see were flickering tongues, wetness, and a warm sensation that was crawling through all of the little girls' chest and up their necks to their little cheeks. It was their sexuality, blossoming. I wiggled my dick between their lips and tongues. Their eyes didn't open at first, but surely they noticed this new alien object couldn't have been anyone else's face. And after all, it probably smelled pretty bad and was suspect. They opened their eyes, stared for a moment, and started screaming. "What's the matter with you??" I screamed back. I quickly put it back in and zipped up. They were in hysterics and hyperventilating. I tried to calm them down as quickly as possible.

"No wait! Wait! Look uh.. have you heard of a keg before? At college parties they have kegs," I said, in a broken voice.
"Yeah... I think I have... " Casey said.
"Well, girls, that was a keg. You all just did a keg stand."
"I thought kegs had beer."
"No that was a keg, trust me," I said, backing away, grabbing the empty bottle of Jack Daniels. They were bewildered. I prayed that they would be too drunk to really remember what happened, or too ashamed. "Don't tell anyone you saw a keg tonight," I told them as I shut the door.

I went into my room and fell with my back against the door and slid down in agony. I had done what every man had dreamed of, yet why were all these troublesome and burdonsome feelings coming over me now? I was not completely justified, even in my mind. I could not convince myself fully! Why was I so weak? Was it true what Camus said, or was that just optimistic? I was programmed, just like all the others, just a simpleton! But at least I had made it with three hot chicks.
Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
7:22 pm
YES! life is worth living again.

"SingStar Anthems announced(News)by Ellie Gibson

Women and gay people of the world rejoice - Sony is planning to release a new instalment in the SingStar series that's specially for you.

SingStar Anthems features 20 music videos from pop's most glittering stars - "think Priscilla Queen of the Desert meets Kylie Showgirls tour", apparently.

Track list highlights include Laura by the Scissor Sisters, Candi Staton's Young Hearts Run Free and I Feel Love by Donna Summer. Not to mention Girls Aloud's Biology - quite possibly the best pop song EVER. And topping it all off there's a track by Steps - most definitely the best band EVER. Shame they've chosen Deeper Shade of Blue though, it's not a patch on Better Best Forgotten.

Anyway, SingStar Anthems - which certainly looks like being the best SingStar game EVER from where we're sitting - is out on August 4th, priced at £39.99 with two microphones or £19.99 on its own. Here's the full track listing:

Queen - Radio Ga Ga
Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart
Take That featuring Lulu - Relight My Fire
Cher - If I Could Turn Back Time
Steps - Deeper Shade of Blue
Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)
Candi Staton - Young Hearts Run Free
Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive
Bananarama - I Heard A Rumour
Pussycat Dolls - Don’t Cha
Leann Rimes - Can’t Fight the Moonlight
Donner Summer - I Feel Love
Bucks Fizz - Making Your Mind Up
The Weather Girls - It’s Raining Men
Ultra Nate - Free
Scissor Sisters - Laura
Kim Wilde - Kids in America
Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody
Girl Aloud - Biology
Charlotte Church - Crazy Chick"

....Steps - Deeper Shade of Blue would have been better replaced with Last Thing on My Mind (with the dance routines and standing facing each other at angles like an ABBA video), and Whitney Houston's - I Wanna Dance with Somebody is good, but i think How Will I Know (my karoake staple) would have been better. and S Club 7's Never Had a Dream Come True would have fit in there perfectly, but they have have an an Ultra Nate song in there so they clearly know what they're doing.

still it almost feels like someone made this just for me. i can't wait.

Monday, June 19th, 2006
11:50 pm

few things never let you down, i've noticed.

one of those things is Parker Posey

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